A toenail, a carrot, an emo, a librarian, a hippie, a 10-year-old, Siri, newwest, and my cousin all walk into the Celebrity Infinity’s X Club.

We then promptly walk out because it’s almost 11:30 and we gotta watch the fake northern lights.

I expected a cruise to be a relaxing experience, but when you make friends on a cruise ship, and everyone is about 16, none of you actually end up sleeping. There’s a lot of eating though, because the buffet is open until 1:30 am, and room service is open 24/7.

Every night, I had dinner with my family, then I found my friends (we were the 1st squad, there were a couple to follow, but we, of course, were the best, according to us). Though it is only two days later, I can’t exactly remember what we did each evening. Probably something weird and embarrassing. We ate a lot of sour patch kids.

As the ports we actually went on the cruise, Juneau had GREAT end of season sails. The other two places were, like, towns. We didn’t go on any excursions, so we just did a lot of walking around. I bought a mammoth stuffy.

Oh, and my sister was lonely and had no friends. Sorry, Mikaela.