Strength, Skill, and Intelligence.
The measurable qualities that society seams to define people from.
Sure, they do matter, but are they really the end all be all qualities that make a person who they are? Or are there other qualities that will not only make you a happier person, but will actually help you increase the attributes listed above?
As someone who has not yet truly found themselves, this is a project that made me reflect on everything I currently do in life. For the first time in my life, I’ve wondered if the life I’m living is going to turn me into the person I want to be or not. I’ve spent so much time thinking about what I want to be, and do, but this project offered me a new question that I hadn’t fully thought about yet.
“What kind of person do you aspire to be?”
That is the question I spend three weeks pondering on. It’s not what I want to do with my life, it’s the kind of person I want to be at the end of the day. If you stripped away all my accomplishments, interests, skills, would people still remember me? Would I be someone who people chose to be around? Or would I be someone to avoid, for fear of bad traits rubbing off on them. The kind of person you are matters because it determines whether or not you achieve your goals, and whether or not you’re happy at the end of the day. In this project we performed interviews, read books, and watched Ted Talks in order to figure out the answer to the question above.
Learning From Others
Most of the ideas and lessons I learned in this project were from looking at what other people applied to their life, starting with the book I read.
I read a book called “The Sun Does Shine”. It’s a true story about a black man named Anthony Ray Hinton, who was falsely convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to death. The book shares valuable insight that Ray Hinton learned during his time on death row. I learned that life isn’t about what you’re given, its about what you make out of what you have. After reading the book, Ray Hinton has inspired me to let go of hatred and revenge, and embrace forgiveness. Even after having racist judges, and meeting cell-mates who were part of the Ku Klux Klan, Ray Hinton has shown that you become a happier person when you think about peoples bad actions as something they’re taught, rather than something that makes them who they are. It takes an especially high level of self-control to truly embrace that belief, and this book has shown me new ideas on what is possible for me to become.
The idea of controlling your emotions with self-control was made further clear to me after interviewing a friend of mine. He explained to me about how you can actually practice being calm, collected, and happy. Being happy is a skill you can learn, and something you get good at by doing. It may be very difficult, but you can choose to be happy even when it feels like there’s no reason to.
Even the Ted Talks I listened to were driving this idea as-well. I listened to multiple people explain how they’re happy because they chose to be happy, and because they didn’t let things that were out of there control effect them. After hearing this idea, I started to realize the difference between tangible and intangible success. So many people were explaining passionately about how you’re defined by your intangible success, not by your accomplishments. But does that mean that your accomplishments don’t actually matter? Is the peak of society a place where everyone’s only focus is enlightenment? That’s when I realized I still had more to learn. I realized that I can’t just do what works for other people, I need to figure out what is right for myself.
My True Takeaways From This Project
Being happy all the time doesn’t mean being happy with what you have, or what you’re given. It means that you’re happy with what you did with it. You can’t choose to be happy if you don’t give yourself a reason to be, it just doesn’t work that way. Happiness is ultimately a reward, but it isn’t necessarily linked to your accomplishments. Happiness can be your reward for trying your best every day, showing up even when you don’t feel like it, and pushing yourself when it’s uncomfortable to do so. I’ve realized that choosing to be happy is not choosing to feel happy, it’s about choosing to do things that reward you with happiness.
“If You Do What is Easy Your Life Will Be Hard. But if You Do What is Hard Your Life Will Be Easy.” -Les Brown
The person I want to have been once my life is over is Daniel Boglari, the person who never fails to smile because he knows he’s happy with what he’s done with his time on this earth The guy who pushes himself more than anyone else not to be better than others, but because he knows it makes him happy. The guy who could have his entire life taken away from him and the first thing he would do is make a joke about it, then get straight back to rebuilding stronger and better than before. I want live each day like it’s my magnum opus.
I’d like to end this post with a message to my future self:
Hi Daniel, I hope some day you’re able to read this post and feel pride. I hope that you became the person that grade 10 you wanted to grow up to be. I hope people describe you as kind, collected, optimistic and sedulous. I hope that some day you can say that the person I described above is you, and I hope that being you makes you happy.
Erin Madsen
January 29, 2024 at 7:26 pmThis is thoughtful and enjoyable to read!