How you present yourself matters. A lot. People will take one look at you and decide they like or don’t like you, and they’ll do that regardless of what you say and do. In fact, they’ll actively look for things that support their initial judgment, and disregard things that don’t. Saying that out-loud makes me realize that it’s a little messed up. But it’s human psychology.
There was a lot of things in this project that I wont be focusing on in this post. All the carriers oriented learning, about what to say to an employer, how to dress, what kinds of examples look good and why, are all great, but they can be understood at face value. They don’t require reflection to be understood or learnt. So I’m going to be focusing on the things that aren’t as clear. The things that go a lot deeper than a question with a definitive answer. I’m not here to write a post like “I think I can do better with my communication skills, because thats what the dragons den guests told me.. blah blah blah.”
This project was a great opportunity to practice how I present myself, preparing for something meaningful, and thinking about my future. I definitely improved a small amount. But for me that part wasn’t where the learning was, it was practise. So let’s jump in to what I really learnt.
What I learned about myself.
“Who you are screams so loud in my face that I can’t hear what you say”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I thought about this quote for a while. Funny enough, after hearing this quote I actually started a new personal project dedicated to improving how I’m looked upon, and what people hear regardless of what words I speak. It means the person you are and what you do will always show more than your words. It explains why there are people I get along with even though they say things that I don’t align with whatsoever, and it explains why there are people that I find infuriating even though they say really nice things to me. Weirdly enough, the kinder the words someone I dislike says the more it feels wrong and makes me mad. It’s interesting how that works. It’s almost as if you don’t want them to be nice to you.
I had to stop and think about which one of those people I was. The truth is, I can’t tell which kind of person I am. But I know I have room for improvement, and therefore I’ll not let this life go to waste. I’ll always strive to better how I present myself.
What I learned about the world.
“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The heaviest thing I heard during this whole project was something Ms Madison said during one of the very first lessons she gave us.
Success is not counted by how far you climbed but by how many people you take with you.
I honestly don’t know how to feel about that. It feels right and wrong at the same time. I’ve been desperately clawing at personal success for as long as I can remember, and suddenly I’ve been looking in the wrong place. But it makes perfect sense. When you die, the things people will write on your tombstone will be things that you were to the world.
Imagine Alex Honnold, he’s a very famous rock climber, who’s most well known for “free soloing” (climbing without any ropes or safety gear, in which you would die if you fell) El Capitan, In Yosemite National Park. His ascent was filmed and documented in the documentary “Free Solo”, which undoubtedly made history. But on his gravestone, are his wife and kid gonna to write that he free soloed El Cap? What about his friends? Are they going to be remembering him as the guy from the documentary “Free Solo”?
Of course not. They’re going to remember him for how he affected their lives, how he inspired them, his character, and his personality. Because who you are to the world is different than what you’ve accomplished. Accomplishment is a sign of success, but not exclusive to it. Maybe the reason a lot of teachers enjoy their job is because they’ve found an opportunity to take as many people as possible with them to success, while still exploring the field they’re passionate about.
Something weird to think about.
The moment the words on your future tombstone stop changing, thats when your life is over. That could be good or bad. I’ll explain. Think about your parents. Think about if there is anything they could do that would change how you would remember them. If not, they’ve already fulfilled their purpose. Their lives are over. But thats not a bad thing. Even though my parents have no more choices left to make in life, and that their purpose will sadly never get to change, they’ll still be remembered with love and gratitude. That’s what success looks like. They’ll (hopefully) live another 25-30 years or so, but the choices they make won’t change who they are to the world.
My biggest takeaway from this project is that until I know exactly how I want my life to end, I wont let it end. To take opportunities, and to say no to endings. To grow as many branches as possible, and to cut as little off as I can. Some opportunities will take sacrifices, but to be cautious of what those sacrifices are.
Above: First Place Solution at UBC “Geering Up” Engineering Challenge.
I know the name Andrew Tate is probably not the best person to be using as an example in a school project, but I feel that this is specific and thought-provoking enough that it makes sense to be included. It’s not the person who I’m using as an example, it’s their story that I find notable. Andrew and his brother were very poor in their early twenties. Andrew was training professionally as a Kick-Boxer, and his brother was working a job, barely paying for food and shelter, still needing to asking for leftovers at fast food franchises to get enough food. It was desperate, and they needed a way out. One day, Andrew told his brother that he was going to quit kickboxing, and get a job, so that they could stop having to scavenge for food. But his brother told him no. He said that if he did that, that was what they would be for the rest of their lives, and they would be stuck with that. He knew that the moment they took that exit, they had nowhere else to go. They’re now both multi-millionaires.
Not to say that that will make you rich, but theres a good chance it will make you happier.
People will look at who you are.
Employers will, friends will, everyone will.
You can’t change that.
But you can change how you look to those people.
By improving who are.
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