Becoming My Most Effective Self

I’ve always considered myself to be an effective person, in everything I do, but after reading The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey I’ve realized being effective isn’t just about getting things done quickly and easily. I’ve said in many of my posts before, I’m not the biggest reader, it’s not that I don’t like the idea of reading it’s just that I can never get myself into a book, and it’s quite a shame to be honest. However, I’m glad that I’ve gotten myself out of that pit and found a book that I truly enjoy. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People has taught me many things, but what stood out to me was that in order to be the most effective person I can be, I have to deeply understand myself before everyone and everything around me. 

Stephen Covey has separated his novel into three main parts, the private victory, the public victory, and the renewal and each section is just as important as the others, if you miss one step you’ll fall all the way back down leaving you with no progress. Almost every effectiveness and success book focuses on what’s called the personality ethic whereas Stephen Covey focuses on the character ethic. Many people including myself tend to focus on their image and how to appear rather than integrity and how to actually be, and that is what’s preventing them from being their most effective self. 

The private victory is made up of habits 1, 2, and 3; be proactive, begin with the end in mind, and put first things first. Greatness starts from the inside out. My two key takeaways from the private victory are that in life you are either reactive or proactive, and to be my most effective self I need to be proactive. To be proactive I realized that my decisions are what affects my life and I can’t focus on the things I have no control over, focusing on the weather and other people’s opinions will just take me down a path that I don’t want to go down and eventually I’ll get too far to turn back. If I don’t act on what I can control, I’ll be acted upon. 

My second key takeaway is that you need to have a vision and know how you’re going to get there. Without any sort of idea of where you want to go in life, you’ll find yourself having no meaning in your life, and you’ll have other people control it for you. To understand this vision we created a personal mission statement surrounded by our role models. Creating my person mission statement was difficult, as it would be what I carry on going back to and what guides me through life, I had to understand what I truly want. I figured that I want to continue to push myself by getting out of my comfort zone and take risks, so that’s what I based my personal mission statement off. To accompany the words the will get me to where I want to be, I included six people, not necessarily my role models but people who I can appreciate and have a vision for their life. Everyone on my table knew where they wanted to go and did what it took to get there, they took risks that payed off and put them in the spot they wanted to be in. This personal mission statement will continue to be in my mind because if I don’t have a vision on where I want to go, my life will be meaningless. 

With knowing myself more than I ever have before and feeling truly independent, the public victory transitions to interdependence with habits 4, 5, and 6. Even though I’ve been in a team environment for the majority of my life, habits 4 and 5 were difficult for me to be great at. Thinking win-win is tough for me, I never see how two people can win. I’ve been playing soccer for over 10 years and when I lose a game I struggle to see positives out of it. This may say something about my character but personally I don’t mind not thinking win-win. I think that feeling loss is what motivates me to do better next time, if I lose a game but only look at the positives I’ll be in a mindset that allows me to be fine without winning which is something I don’t want. However, I still do think there are some times that thinking with the attitude that everyone can get something out of the situation will make me more effective. I’m a very competitive guy so I need to realize that not everything is a competition, having this mindset will be what gets me over the next hurdle and closer to the finish line of being more effective. 

Two minds are better than one, that’s what I got from habit 6. In the past I’ve tried to get everything done on my own, I love the feeling of finishing something knowing I did all of the work. This is where I go wrong, that feeling may be nice in the moment, but if you look further down the line you’ll see that you will be much further behind the people that synergize. I’ve started to understand this concept and am really putting it to use. If I play to my strengths and work with someone playing to theirs, we will be far more effective than working on our own.

The final habit is sharpen the saw, and in my opinion, the most important one. I always thought the key to successfulness is to constantly work, when you work when other people aren’t you will be ahead of them, but the truth is, a sharp saw cutting for 1 hour will be more effective than a dull one cutting for 2 hours. Sharpening the saw gets you to understand that you need time to relax, do things you enjoy and invest in yourself. The hard part is finding a balance, if you’re sharpening your saw for too long you’ll end up with nothing left, it’s also not just a balance between stop and go but a balance between emotional wellness, mental wellness, spiritual wellness and physical wellness. Finding this balance is easier said than done, it will take time and trail and error, but once I find that balance, I will be in a spot of effectiveness that I’ve never been in before; I will achieve more things and continue to push myself and grow as a person. 

I’m far from being my most effective self, these habits aren’t just a switch I can turn on, I have to continue to learn about myself then whatever is around me and trust that I know where I want to go in life. Reading this book has made me realize that my ladder was leaning against the wrong wall and I was climbing up with no real vision, I was getting caught up in all the unimportant things and was on a path I didn’t want to go down. This book has given me a reset, reset my mind and body and directed my ladder up the correct wall. The seven habits will continue to be on my mind and every day I will be closer to greatness.